Oh My Darling Clementine!

Oh My Darling Clementine!
Saturday, our cook Clementine, got married! A few weeks ago, at lunch we got our invitations and were filled with happiness. I had never been to an African wedding, and even American weddings can vary from couple to couple. So, there was much anticipation. We spent the week trying to figure out what would be an appropriate gift. Miriam, Katie, and I decided to buy a Rwandan handmade basket, and fill it with a card and a few things to help start up their house-hold. These baskets are perfectly made, very much like the baskets on the side of the road in Charleston. The Charleston baskets are outrageously priced. (This isn’t to say they aren’t worth the cost, but they will leave you with no money to fill them!) The basket that we bought was about 1 ½ ft high, shaped like a vase, and only 8,000 francs!

When we woke Saturday morning, we could hear distant drums and singing and celebrations across the valley from a mountain facing us. The wedding day began by visitations at Clementine’s house at 8:00 a.m.! We went about our morning tasks, and prepared to go to the church wedding, which was to be held at 11:00 a.m. The night before a German couple arrived on the hill, and we told them we would come by about five minutes before, so that we could all walk together. So, around 11:00, we all arrived at the church...to find it empty. Things in Shyira seem to have a way of delaying themselves. We sat down and waited. About thirty minutes later the pastor arrived. Then, the musicians began setting up and practicing. The music sounded almost Caribbean, and although it was in Kinyarwanda, we could hear the words “Clementine nwa Jeremie” and we knew that it had been written just for them.

Finally at 12:00, without a sign of anyone in the church, Katie and I walked back to the house to get water. Lydia was the flower girl and she was waiting for her cue to head to the church. Louise told us we could wait with them, that it could take a while. Right about that time, Louise said, “Look across to the mountain! See that row of white? It’s the bridal procession!” As I looked across the valley, I saw what looked like a small river of white winding down the hill. I was stunned. I can’t say I have a memory that took my breath away more. One bit of white, amidst all that green. The train was so far I could barely see them, but singing so fervently I could hear them. It struck me that the same people were singing that had been singing since 8:00 a.m. I ended up borrowing Caleb Jr.’s binoculars for a closer look.

We headed back to the church about twenty minutes later to wait on them. The singing was louder now, but they were hidden behind banana trees and there was no hope of seeing them until they were right in front of the church. Finally, around 12:30, the bride and her groom came into sight! We ran outside to watch them. There were dancers and singers out in front preparing the way, and there was a bridal party around and behind them. They curved around the road in front of the church, where Lydia joined them, in her flower girl garb. We watched in amazement. A kind lady named Dina that I’ve gotten to know well, stopped in front of Clementine spraying her with a powdery smelling body deodorant, and straightened the front of her dress. They continued up to the church with singing and dancing. We went inside and took our seats.

A few things to note about Rwandan weddings:
1. The bridesmaids wear white, also. So, the whole procession looks extremely striking. Of course, they wear hints of other colors, so they are easily distinguished from the bride.
2. The bride and bridegroom are to be as absolutely solemn as possible. There should not even be a hint of happiness on their face. They are leaving and cleaving, and so this is a day of mourning as well.
3. They are extensively long.
It was incredible to see a bride and a groom with faces full of dread about to marry! I have seen Clementine’s excitement about her wedding, her wide grin in extending the invitations to us, and her pleasure every time we mention Jeremie. However, if someone walking off an American street somehow arrived here, they would probably stand up to object! In the meantime, everyone else is giddy with gladness. It’s really quite funny. They proceed to the front of the church, where there are four wooden chairs that serve as the first row. The maid-of-honor and best man sit on the outside chairs, while Jeremie and Clementine sit in the middle. There are three pastors presiding over the service. The eldest begins first. Then, the younger pastor starts preaching. In the middle of preaching, he begins singing without music. Then, the sweat soaked group that has attended the couple down the mountain stands up and they begin singing with him, then dancing. Then, the pastor passes the mike off to a girl, who begins singing, while he begins a beautiful and wild and extravagant dance to celebrate!

The rest of the service consisted in:
1. Clementine’s brother giving her away.
2. A regular church service complete with a sermon.
3. The raising of the veil, as repeatedly commanded by the pastor, “slowly, slowly!”
4. Marriage vows.
5. Exchange of Rings.
6. Holy communion…for everyone in the church.
7. A ferocious rainstorm for the last two hours of the service, that began leaking water on my head. (I kept trying to tilt my body ever so slightly, so that there wouldn’t be one very wet spot, but hopefully it could serve as my hair’s daily wash….let’s just say we’ve had a water shortage on and off for almost a week, and you learn to take what you can get.)

**The only thing that was left out was the kiss! Instead, there was a very sweet hug.
All of this was in Kinyarwanda, and all of this lasted until almost 4:00! It was the longest service that I have attended. One of the most amusing parts was in the midst of this celebration, Clementine only ever cracked a slight smile when they were pronounced man and wife, which was immediately followed by a cheek-bite of self-denial. It tickled me. She was intent on doing this the right way.

After the wedding, we walked back home, grabbed our rain jackets, umbrellas, and a piece of honey bread and began walking back to the church to join Peace, the pastor’s wife, and then continue down the hill to the reception. The rain did not stop. As we walked down the hill, we were accompanied by an orange river over the rocks we treaded. It should be noted, Peace did all of this in white high heels, while Miriam, Katie, and I slid all over the place in our sandals. We had to cross three “bridges” that are nothing more than logs laid out across a gap in the mountain. Finally, we arrived at the reception. This was a well thought out place. There were tarps overhead, and when they began sinking low men would come with sticks and shift the water, with the help of gravity, from one tarp to the other until it ran off behind everyone. There were couches outside for the bridal party and chairs for the guests. Louise brought the new couple and the wedding party down the hill in her car, and the revelry began. There was singing, feeding each other cake, Fanta, and food. There was a line of food going out to the guests that would have made Henry Ford proud. We actually got orange and lemon Fanta and Cokes! This is a huge treat here.

One of the neatest things about the wedding was that the newlyweds presented gifts to the people that really helped them. I didn’t know this until post-wedding, but Clementine and Jeremie are both orphans. I didn’t ask details, but can guess. So, it is very dear that there was a whole community coming around them- keeping the rain away, dancing for them, perfuming them, feeding them, singing over them, affirming them, rejoicing with them. Clementine, then came to all the guests, and served us cake! The bottom of her white dress was now orange! There was something invaluable about it. Then, a line formed to present them with gifts. The three of us brought up the basket and Clementine smiled! She knows we are her silly “muzungu” girls that love her dearly!

Just before 7:00, we headed home, delighted… and exhausted!